Should You Have Pre-Baby Counseling?

Pre-marital counseling has long been recommended by friends and professionals alike. (I shared some stats on its value in an earlier post: click here.) But until today I'd never heard of pre-baby counseling.

Apparently counseling, in couples sessions or groups, is gaining popularity for first time parents-to-be. The goal is to offset the increase in dissatisfaction as many as 70-90% of couples experience after becoming parents. (More on that here.)

Does pre-baby counseling work? It's too early to tell, but a 2006 study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology showed that "expectant couples and new parents who participated in 24 weekly group counseling meetings experienced a much smaller decline in marital satisfaction over about five years compared with parents who didn't have the counseling." - from "So Cute, So Hard on Marriage, in The Wall Street Journal

The couples who participated in pre-baby counseling still had the same rate of divorce as the others, however.

So should you have pre-baby counseling? That's a personal decision between you and your spouse. If you opt not to see a professional, you can still set aside time for personal conversations with your spouse about how you'll handle the changes to come. Talk about parenting philosophy, how you'll divide household and child-related chores, and how you'll prevent neglect of your marriage as you care for your children.

Is Dad Only Good for Playing?

Very little is sexier than watching a dad be totally engrossed in play with his child. So it comes as no surprise that a new study, published in Developmental Psychology, shows that couples experience a stronger bond when fathers spend more time playing with their children.

Previous studies from a number of institutions have shown that marital satisfaction is higher when husbands help with housework (including childcare). This study is differs in that increased satisfaction was seen in play as well.

So is this good news?

Maybe not. The study's author offers an explanation for the findings: perhaps mom's feel better when dads are playing with their children instead of providing care, because it means they aren't doing something incorrectly.

Really? Ladies?