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| Great graphic from the original NYT Mag article. |
The New York Times Magazine ran a great - if unnecessarily long - article over the weekend. Focused on "decision-fatigue," the article took us through study after study that highlights how sugar intake, time of day, and your previous activities can sink you when it comes to decision making.
Luckily for us, Fast Company ran a summary of the article, and I made the decision to skip the 7 page version from the NYT in favor of the 3 minute read from Fast Company.
This is getting to be like some sort of Babushka nesting doll ... but here's my summary of the summary, with some thoughts on how it relates to marriage:
Don't make important decisions back to back: Resisting a piece of chocolate cake in the morning makes you more likely to cave for cheesecake at lunch. Willpower is like a muscle, and it gets exhausted. So when it comes to making decisions with your partner, spread the decisions out over a few days.
As an example: suppose you and your partner are remodeling your living room and need a new couch. Plus you might wants a big screen TV. Together you couch shop in the morning. Though you love the $3000 designer sofa, you make the wise decision to buy a $700 couch so you don't have to banish your children to the kitchen every time they want a snack. Next stop, Best Buy: sure, your budget says 32-inches, but that TV-the-size-of-your-car is on sale.
Anybody else thinking, "I've already saved money on the couch, so why not splurge on the TV?" That gasp you just heard was the sound of your worn out willpower unsuccessfully trying to rouse itself to protest the purchase.
Don't have important conversations after you've just made a lot of decisions. My husband knows that 6:45 p.m. is always my worst time of day. The kids are starving and hungry for attention, he's just walked in the door from work, the telemarketers are calling, and there are 6000 small tasks that must be accomplished before one of us can get dinner on the table.
Fixing a meal for your family may seem like a small task, but it involves a lot of small decisions: what vegetables? will the kids eat what we're having? whose drinking milk, whose drinking water, whose drinking a Rum & Coke? can I safely hold the baby while taking the pizza out of the oven and talking on the phone? (The answer to this one, from personal experience, is NO!)
Again, our decision making muscle gets worn out, even from these small things. Do yourself a favor and don't start any big conversations.
Don't be afraid to "sleep on it": Let's say you've had a busy day, with lots of stressful decisions at work, and lots of willpower decisions at home. And then you find yourself bickering with your spouse. Stop cold in your tracks, and ask to postpone the conversation to the morning. Let your will power and decision making muscle rest, and you'll probably find the conversation goes a little smoother.
Grab a snack: If you're a dieter, you really should read the Times article. But if you're not a dieter, here's an excuse to grab an ice cream cone: A quick shot of calories has been shown to improve decision making. Just don't through the will power out the window.
“Even the wisest people won’t make good choices when they’re not rested and their glucose is low,” says Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State University and a self-control expert. “The best decision makers,” Baumeister says, “are the ones who know when not to trust themselves.”
Luckily for us, Fast Company ran a summary of the article, and I made the decision to skip the 7 page version from the NYT in favor of the 3 minute read from Fast Company.
This is getting to be like some sort of Babushka nesting doll ... but here's my summary of the summary, with some thoughts on how it relates to marriage:
Don't make important decisions back to back: Resisting a piece of chocolate cake in the morning makes you more likely to cave for cheesecake at lunch. Willpower is like a muscle, and it gets exhausted. So when it comes to making decisions with your partner, spread the decisions out over a few days.
As an example: suppose you and your partner are remodeling your living room and need a new couch. Plus you might wants a big screen TV. Together you couch shop in the morning. Though you love the $3000 designer sofa, you make the wise decision to buy a $700 couch so you don't have to banish your children to the kitchen every time they want a snack. Next stop, Best Buy: sure, your budget says 32-inches, but that TV-the-size-of-your-car is on sale.
Anybody else thinking, "I've already saved money on the couch, so why not splurge on the TV?" That gasp you just heard was the sound of your worn out willpower unsuccessfully trying to rouse itself to protest the purchase.
Don't have important conversations after you've just made a lot of decisions. My husband knows that 6:45 p.m. is always my worst time of day. The kids are starving and hungry for attention, he's just walked in the door from work, the telemarketers are calling, and there are 6000 small tasks that must be accomplished before one of us can get dinner on the table.
Fixing a meal for your family may seem like a small task, but it involves a lot of small decisions: what vegetables? will the kids eat what we're having? whose drinking milk, whose drinking water, whose drinking a Rum & Coke? can I safely hold the baby while taking the pizza out of the oven and talking on the phone? (The answer to this one, from personal experience, is NO!)
Again, our decision making muscle gets worn out, even from these small things. Do yourself a favor and don't start any big conversations.
Don't be afraid to "sleep on it": Let's say you've had a busy day, with lots of stressful decisions at work, and lots of willpower decisions at home. And then you find yourself bickering with your spouse. Stop cold in your tracks, and ask to postpone the conversation to the morning. Let your will power and decision making muscle rest, and you'll probably find the conversation goes a little smoother.
Grab a snack: If you're a dieter, you really should read the Times article. But if you're not a dieter, here's an excuse to grab an ice cream cone: A quick shot of calories has been shown to improve decision making. Just don't through the will power out the window.
“Even the wisest people won’t make good choices when they’re not rested and their glucose is low,” says Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State University and a self-control expert. “The best decision makers,” Baumeister says, “are the ones who know when not to trust themselves.”
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