Mexico City Considers Setting a Two Year Expiration Date for Marriages

Mexico City lawmakers have proposed a change to the city's civil code to set a two year expiration date to new marriages. As Reuters put it, "'Til 2013 do us part."

The idea is to help couples avoid the heartbreak of a lengthy divorce process by building separation into the marriage contract: 

The minimum marriage contract would be for two years and could be renewed if the couple stays happy. The contracts would include provisions on how children and property would be handled if the couple splits.

“The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends,” said Leonel Luna, the Mexico City assemblyman who co-authored the bill. “You wouldn’t have to go through the tortuous process of divorce,” said Luna, from the leftist Party of the Democratic Revolution, which has the most seats in the 66-member chamber.

So suddenly marriage is like the can of tomatoes I have in my kitchen cabinets: good now, but with a documented shelf life? Or like the library book I can check out, but have to promise to return. 

Mexico City is missing the mark. The point of marriage IS the commitment. Without the intention of making things work for a lifetime, you miss out on some of the best long term benefits of marriage: the joy of creating a life together, the way intimacy and pleasure grow over the years, discovering more of who you are through and with another person, the security of having someone who is contractually obligated to have your back. 

With high divorce rates making headlines, it's tempting to think laws like this (which, to clarify, has not yet been put into effect) can shortcut headaches and heartaches. Maybe, for a few, they can. But my observation is that divorce is always messy (pre-nups haven't changed that, right?) and no law will help you avoid that. 

More importantly, trivializing marriage by putting a shelf-life stamp on it doesn't set couples up for success. Who among us really wants a trial marriage? Will you really work at something that's set to expire in 24 months? 

Let me say it again, the point of marriage is the commitment. You can have relationships that fulfill your need for intimacy or sex or companionship outside of marriage: but your marriage relationship is most likely the only relationship in which you've both committed to create and share a life together, 'til death do us part. That's the beauty of it. Don't take that away.