I'm an ardent supporter of vacation: I believe in using every possible day I'm given, and making good use of them by disconnecting from work as much as possible. I think it makes me a more productive employee, and probably a better wife too. Turns out vacation is also good for you physically:
A research study looked at 12,000 men over nine years who were at high risk for coronary heart disease. Those who failed to take annual vacations had a 21 percent higher risk of death from all causes and were 32 percent more likely to die of a heart attack.
In women, taking two vacations a year makes you eight times less likely to suffer a heart attack than women who get around to a vacation every six years (or less).
You can read about both research findings at this New York Times link.
But here's the rub: a restful vacation sometimes sounds like an oxymoron if you have little kids who don't understand the delightful concept of sleeping in. After four years of parenthood, I have two observations:
1. Taking regular just-the-two-of-us vacations is absolutely necessary. Cliff and I are committed to annual 3 or 4 day getaways, without the kids. We're lucky that we have trusted friends and faithful grandparents who practically beg to spend time with Sam and Maggie. With our kids in good hands, we can look forward to enjoying long walks the kids wouldn't normally tolerate, long talks that would bore our four-year old, lazy mornings, and later nights (though, admittedly, I still turn into a pumpkin around 10:30).
2. Vacations with the kids can still be restful if we make a few necessary adjustments. One of our favorite parenting books, The Baby Whisperer, talks about creating a household that isn't kid-centered or parent-centered, but rather family-centered. We try for the same approach to vacations. Some kid activities, some modified grownup activities, and lots of time to rest between them.
For what it's worth, here are a few things we've found to be particularly helpful in making family vacation restful and enjoyable for the grownups:
- Pay extra to get a suite at the hotel: one bedroom suites cost about $30 more a night than a hotel room, but it's a lot cheaper than paying a divorce lawyer later on. (Okay, that's hyperbole.) Once the kids are asleep in one room, Cliff and I can relax with a movie or a novel. We've also been known to sneak dessert into the room for a late night treat.
- Plan a busy morning and a lazy afternoon: while on a trip to Beijing, we discovered the delights of slowing down for a toddler's schedule: naps! We have a scheduled activity in the morning, grab lunch out and then settle down for naps or novels while our kids rest. They're awake again in the late afternoon, leaving time for more site seeing or swimming. As a result of this relaxed schedule, we get more rest than we ever do at home.
- Go somewhere you have friends: our last three kid-vacations (Beijing, Cincinnati, Denver) have been to places where we have good friends or family. We offset extra hotel costs by camping in their guest rooms for a few nights. Long conversations after the kids go to bed are a highlight of the trips. And (bonus!) the children of our friends and family often step in to play with or babysit our little ones, giving us a little extra R&R.
- Unplug: whether you're traveling with or without your kids, it's worth mentioning that real rest requires letting yourself relax. Cliff and I practiced giving each other the evil eye when our iPhones began getting more attention than the people around us. And, because part of our recent vacation was spent at home, I had to unplug the part of my brain that thinks in "to do lists." The result? Cliff told me he liked "Amber on vacation." (Of course I asked how he felt about "Amber not on vacation," and he assured me he likes her too.)
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