Resources

Books worth reading


For Better - For Better, The Science of a Good Marriage: Parker-Pope is a wellness writer for the NYT. Surprised to find herself in the midst of a divorce, she began reading all the research she could on marriage, and she compiled it into this engaging book so you don’t have to pour through thousands of academic journals to learn the same information. She covers a wide range of research: how marriage impacts health, what predicts divorce, are we meant to mate for a lifetime. It’s interesting stuff.

Spousonomics -  Spousonomics, Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes: This book, written by journalists at major national papers, manages to be playful and practical at the same time. The authors take principles of economics and attempt to apply them to marriage – the end result is some atypical marital advice that has a certain sort of wisdom. To keep things light, they use case studies of real couples: you’ll find yourself feeling much better about your own marriage when you read how screwed up they were.

Marriage: A History - Marriage, A History, How Love Conquered Marriage: Coontz is an academic researcher – a sociologist by trade. She traces the history of marriage from the prehistoric era through the past century, showing how recent years have seen love trump more practical concerns in the selection of a mate. This book is not a great resource if you’re looking to improve your marriage. But if you want to think about how culture has shaped your expectations for your marriage, then you’ll enjoy this book.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work -  John Gottman is THE marriage researcher. If you’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, then you’re familiar with Gottman, and his wife Julie’s, research into the behaviors that predict divorce. This book takes a more detailed, and more practical, look at their decades of “Love Lab” research. It’s an extremely easy read, and extremely practical in its application. It really should be on your bookshelf.

·         For Fidelity: Cate Wallace's short but heady argument in favor of marital fidelity has its origins in trying to think how to explain fidelity to her teenage children, without relying on biblical arguments they might find unconvincing. It’s probable that you already agree with her conclusions, but you might like to read how she reaches them.

·         Divorce-Busting: Psychologist Michelle Weiner-Davis has focused her career on helping couples prevent needless divorce. This book covers the fundamentals of her approach. The book does take a fairly problem-focused stance on thinking about your marriage, but many of the ideas in the book are applicable for strong relationships that just want to grow better.

·         Sacred Marriage, What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More than Happy?: If you’re looking for a book to help you meditate on what marriage can teach you about God, and vice versa, then this book by Gary Thomas is it. If you're looking for a book that does that while also not offending anyone that might self-identify as an egalitarian partner and/or feminist, then this book isn't you. (Let me know if you do find that book.)

Blogs worth checking out


Read Chris Pugh’s personal blog. It’s where faith, family, communications, sports and pop culture collide. http://viewfromthepugh.wordpress.com