Monday, October 31, 2011

Finding Mr. Right in a World of 7 Billion People

In case you've missed the headlines, the global population hit 7 billion sometime today - yes, today. Somehow, we can estimate the number of living people in the world with this degree of accuracy. I find this amazing since the repair guy coming Thursday morning can only say he'll be by sometime between 9:30 and 2.

Obviously a population of this size raises some questions: how do we maintain a sustainable planet? Feed and educate everyone? How can we provide access to clean water? What's the maximum number of Facebook friends you can have? How can you find Mr. Right when you've got roughly 3.5 billion options?

I have some single friends that are asking some variation of that question. Fair enough. I can't take issue with asking that question, though I can take issue with one aspect of it: the implication that there is one right person for you, and everyone else is Mr. Wrong.

If you're already married, here's what I believe to be the truth: with some rare exceptions, whoever you're with is Mr. Right (or Ms. Right, depending on your preferences). Fairy tales that involve destiny and Prince Charming and a convoluted, poisoned-apple paved path to find each other, are romantic but misleading. When you're single, it leaves you on the look out for a miracle. And once you're married, it leaves you wondering if you might be stuck with a frog when you were really expecting a prince.

In an earlier post, I asked the question, Are you happily married because you picked the right person, or because you got lucky? Today I'm reminding myself that out of 7 billion people, I am married to the right person. He's right for me because I decided he's the right one: not because of a miracle of fate, serendipity (which was a terrible movie, by the way), or destiny. It's the dozens of daily decisions that keep us right for each other, not the dozens of twists of fate that led us together.

(Some people might argue that God brought us together - and isn't that like destiny or fate? Sure. But I believe God is more honored by the daily ways we decide to stay together than by the way we met 12 years ago.)

Making the daily decision to see your imperfect spouse as your Mr. Right isn't easy. I'm imperfect too. Sometimes we act like frogs. But it's Halloween: kiss a frog - you never know what might happen.


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