Do you ever feel like you get whiplash from all the well-intended research that comes your way? (Example: Coffee is good for you - no, wait, it's bad. Take more Vitamin D as it will probably prevent cancer - or wait, maybe not.)
Marriage research can be much the same way: never go to bed angry, or, sleep on it as life looks better in the morning?
So - to make things a little easier on the rest of you, I've pulled together my favorite marriage facts and findings as highlighted in the last month. Take the tips that seem sensible to you and put them to good use.
1) Fighting is Fine - It's How You Fight that Matters: New research published by the University of Michigan says divorce is more likely for couples where one partner tries to calmly and objectively analyze the situation, and the other partner withdraws. If you find this pattern in your own marriage, focus on turn-taking, listening, and fighting the urge to walk away. Professional counseling may help.
2) Wine Before Liquor May Mean Your Marriage is Sicker: Research confirms what logic already knew: alcoholism increases your odds of divorce. Moderation, moderation, moderation. Addictions are best conquered with the help of professionals: don't wait until it's too late to save our marriage.
3) Kids Can Make You Better Partners: If you haven't already, check out Melvin Udall's article on how kids can save your marriage. Parenthood may make feelings of romance a little tougher to find, but it's worth the search.
4) Follow Facebook with Some Healthy Skepticism: People put their best feet forward on Facebook and other social networking sites, giving the appearance of being happier than they really are. And, if all your friends seem happier than you are - this can lead to feelings of depression about your marriage or life in general. Shake it off by remembering your Facebook profile probably looks perfect too.
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