"Kids kill a marriage."
"Our relationship fell apart after the kids were born."
"Nothing drains the romance from a relationship like a baby."
We've all heard - or perhaps thought - these things. Kids add an intense, constant, sleep-deprived strain to relationships. Any fractures that were already there will quickly become evident. New ones - at least a few - are sure to be created.
And yet people keep getting married, and having kids.
I've rarely heard people comment on how children have strengthened their relationships: perhaps it's easier to complain than compliment. But it is possible. We probably fight more, now that we are the parents of two, but our relationship is also stronger. I'm more aware of Cliff's playfulness and patience. I've been made aware of my own quick temper - and working on it has made me a better wife and mother.
Harvard Medical School psychologist Craig Malkin agrees, and offers a few tips for strengthening your marriage because of and through your children. Find them in his article "How Kids Can Save Your Marriage."
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