Study after study has shown that we rate ourselves above average more often than not - and yet, by definition, only half the population can be above average at any one time. One data set showed that 94 percent of college professors felt they were above average at their job!
We can't all be great - it's true. But is it so wrong to think your spouse is? Absolutely not.
New research from the University of Buffalo found that individuals who tend to idealize their partners tend to fare better at marital happiness than the pragmatists among us.
How can this help your marriage? Here are some thoughts - completely undocumented by research, but grounded in real-life:
- Find something your spouse is the best at, and make a point of telling others. We recently hung two portraits of our children, hand-drawn beautifully by my husband, in a prominent place in our house. I glow with pride every time a friend mentions how talented my husband is, and I totally agree.
- Draw attention to your own best features rather than dwelling on your weaknesses. Tell your spouse about your day at work, and don't forget to mention the applause you received from your boss. That little mistake in the spreadsheet you created? It's not worth discussing.
- Spend time with your in-laws. Chances are, they think your spouse is great. My mother-in-law is convinced her sons can solve any computer problem that exists. And often, given a little time and urging from their mom, they can.
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