Not the Results I Expected

Photo used with permission from Tim Green. 

I'm an A student. Always have been. So I was disappointed with the results of a New York Times quiz I took this afternoon: how'd I do? Just average.

Average is a curse word.

Even worse, the quiz was, I thought, in my wheelhouse. Featured on Tara Parker Pope's column (she's a favorite of mine), the quiz asked, Do You Have a Generous Relationship?

Yes! I thought. And I felt pretty good as I answered the five questions: yes I appreciate Cliff. Yes I tell him so. Sure I do little things for him, sometimes.

Ahh ... I was honest there with the "sometimes." Honestly, I don't do that kind of "little thing" nearly enough. And apparently that's why I'm only average at being a generous spouse.

Why is this important? Here's what Tara Parker Pope's article, The Generous Marriage, reports, citing a study from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia:

Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy,” according to the latest “State of Our Unions” report from the National Marriage Project.

I feel pretty happy in my marriage, so I won't let my average performance on the quiz worry me. Just the same, it can't hurt to redouble my efforts at generosity.

Take the quiz and let me know what you think.