The Rule of Anecdotal Value (A Resource for Marriage Decision Making)

Yep. There's a story in the making. 

Cliff and I have been into The Moth lately. For those of you that aren't hip and trendy like us, The Moth is a national group that features story tellers telling stories. Because what else would they do? The stories are all true, and are told at regular "story slams" that are held across the country. Not to brag, but my husband placed in the top 3 at a recent Chicago slam.

But I digress.

On one of our long holiday drives, we listened to the podcast of the first Chicago Moth Grand Slam, which was hosted by NPR personality Peter Sagal (of "Wait, Wait! Don't Tell Me!" fame). Peter told a story to get the slam started - in part because it warms up the audience for the competitors, and in part because he just likes the sound of his own voice.

But I digress.

I don't recall the story itself, but I do recall Sagal started by mentioning a rule he tries to live by. It was coined by a friend of his, and has (within their circle of friends) come to be called "The Rule of Anecdotal Value." Essentially, the rule says that when faced with two equally meritorious choices, always pick the one that will lead to a better story in the future.

I've given The Rule of Anecdotal Value (or TRAV) a test drive since then, and I have to say TRAV is a decent decision making tool for me. Maggie, on the morning of her second birthday, adamantly insisted on wearing her soccer uniform shirt rather than the party dress I'd picked out. After consulting TRAV I determined that 20 years from now, I'll be more amused by a picture of my stubborn little girl in her soccer uniform than in a now-out-of-style party dress. 'Lil Kickers jersey it is.

Eight years ago, Cliff and I faced a more life-altering decision: stay in Chicago and work, or join the Peace Corps. Even though we didn't know TRAV then, we made the right decision to follow the better story - and  it was one of our Peace Corps stories that Cliff told at The Moth slam last month.

Sometimes TRAV can lead you astray. But life is full of big and small moments where you can (with appropriate levels of risk) choose the more anecdotal option. If you and your spouse haven't done something for anecdotal value lately, make it a goal this year. It doesn't have to be dramatic: visit the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices on your next vacation (this is a real place), create your own Donut Crawl (like a beer crawl, but with icing), or try a home improvement project without a professional. Do something that's a story worth repeating.