Last Saturday Cliff and I attended a wedding we won't soon forget. It started 90 minutes late, and included a prayer that the wife would be submissive (with an aside that the bride might have a little bit of a problem with this).
The informality is perhaps best illustrated by a quote from the cousin who walked the bride down the aisle: "I'm not losing a sister, I'm gaining a brother. But Wayne, if you don't treat her right I will find you and kick your ass."
The bride and groom wrote their own vows. I can't recall them in detail, but I do know the bride got a laugh when she thanked her husband-to-be for putting up with her crazy family.
Marriage requires a good deal of "putting up with," and so perhaps Wayne and Sylvia are well prepared for the future. But how do you really prepare for marriage? I recently came across an article on seven topics you MUST talk about before you walk down the aisle (or move to the front of the bar, as was the case on Saturday). Written by husband and wife psychologists Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, it pretty much sums up the biggies. And, perhaps, it's not such a bad review for us old married folks too.
The seven topics are below - check out the link for sub-questions and additional commentary from the authors.
1. Why you love each other.
2. What you believe to be the "core values" of your loving relationship
4. How you see your relationship evolving - what do you want it to be 5, 10, and 20+ years from now?
5. How you will share decision-making in your marriage.
6. What you want most from your marriage.
7. You need to have a heartfelt conversation about the question - "Can you imagine life without each other?"
Use It Now:
Even if you tied the knot years ago, you may find the questions in this article to be helpful.
When I first read the article, one question caught my attention: If there was a fire, what would things would you save? Cliff and I had recently discussed this question: his answers revealed a lot about his personality and priorities, and a few surprised me as well. Questions like this are a good reminder to never stop learning about your spouse.
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